Jumping Ship: Launching Without Falling Overboard
My father always said to hang onto my job while I searched for my next spot.
“Work is not supposed to be enjoyable. That’s why it’s called ‘work’.”
“Keep your head down and work hard and you will be rewarded.”
The framework of quietly working harder and building financial stability from poverty is his story. Ignoring the physical, mental and emotional strain communicated by the nervous system is a strategy that paid off for him and others like him - Baby Boomers, GI bill recipients, children of the children of the Great Depression…white men.
When trying to apply his learnings to my own life, I had an academic and professional trajectory that was respectable, sensible, and at times, exciting. But I also had the fits and starts of people pleasing and perfectionism; the pains of being a young woman in a world built for others; and the mental breakdowns of a highly sensitive, highly educated survivor of PTSD. If I had a dime for the number of times I was figuratively, or actually, patted on the head in my professional life, I would have at least enough for my daughter’s first year of trade school or college. My fathers words just did not apply. Not because I didn’t want them to - in fact, I keep hoping that the myths of meritocracy, equality and fairness begin to apply to all of us.
I have only had a two instances of keeping my current job while applying for the one that followed, and I have had quite a few more job transitions since. The first time I left without another job, I wallowed in shame and self-loathing for a least a couple months before forcing myself to apply and interview for jobs that I did not want. I went, broken and nervous, to one interview where they proceeded to “school” me on what award management was despite my previous title of Sr. Awards Manager. It did nothing for my confidence to push myself that hard. The second time I did this, I had the wherewithal to let myself heal a little from the intense burnout of my first Executive Director role. By the third time, I was an old pro at quitting with nowhere to go.
In those moments when I juggled the pros and cons of leaving versus staying, my mind would flip back to those words of my fathers’: “work isn’t supposed to be enjoyable.” Guilt would set in - guilt for wanting something more of my work, wanting purpose, wanting balance, wanting a fulfilling job. Shouldn’t I just stick it out for longer while my body and relationships fall apart? Won’t the money and continuity of resume mean more to me in the long run? For me, the answer has always been a resounding “no.” If your work steals your joy and your life, it is not meant for you. That doesn’t mean you have to run out and quit now, but I ask you to consider the life you deserve not the one you’ve been given or the one your parents, colleagues or friends have. You deserve work that lights you up and makes you happy. You deserve to stay onboard the ship of your life even if it means jumping off the boat of your current job. Happy sailing, friends.
